Saturday, October 23, 2010

predniSONE Taper

I visited my rheumatologist on Thursday.  She has me keeping the prednisone at 5mg per day for a month, then halving that to 2.5mg.  After one month at that amount I am to stop entirely.  I am a little concerned about stopping it completely, but trying to look at all this one day at a time.

The RA symptoms that pretty well disappeared when I started the medication are beginning to return, especially the enormous fatigue.  I guess the hydroxychloroquine (Plaquenil) should help all the symptoms but it can take a few months to feel the full effect.  I hope it truly does help with the fatigue, because that is the most aggravating symptom.  I can live with pain and stiffness in joints, being exhausted and weak constantly is a nightmare.

I think I worry too much.  I worry that I will feel worse again and lose all the energy I have gained... I worry that we will not have enough money to pay for things, like medications, the kittens, firewood and food.  I worry that I am always going to feel cloudy and lost... I worry that I will never again feel close to the Lord like I used to so long ago.
I wonder why I let myself worry so incessantly about every little thing, most of which I have no control over.  I try to blame it on my Mom for "giving me the worrying gene" then I feel guilty for blaming anyone, when clearly it is all in my own head.

I hope to feel more awake and alive soon, but so far things are just foggy.

I suppose I should pray for peace.  Have not done that in quite a long while.  Maybe it will be easier than I think?

1 comment:

  1. Hurray for honesty! I remember feeling a lot of those same things at one point in my life. I have had generalized anxiety along with social anxiety. I realized I was broken and had to have some help..... so "better living through chemistry!" The anxiety got in the way of peace. Now I can once again feel the peace and confidence that only God gives. Of course it was there all along but I was unable to find it. Hope you find what is in the way of your peace soon Cassie! Love you so much and miss you lots!



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