Sunday, February 12, 2012

"Rest" ~ A beautiful concept

It's been a relaxing weekend. Starting with dinner and quality time at Mom and Dad's on Friday, followed by lots of sleep, movie watching and lazing about yesterday and most of today. It has been good. Good for my mind, body and soul. Good for our marriage, our relationship, though a little hard on our house since there is housework to be done... but oh well ;-)

My physical symptoms have been quieter the past few days, even the fatigue has been muffled, not overpowering like before. I'm pretty sure I had the energy and physical ability to accomplish at least a couple "projects" around the house, but I chose to rest, relax and laze about. For half a second I felt guilty about this. Yikes, I am lazy!! But I didn't let myself feel too bad for too long because sometimes, when you're living with chronic pain and fatigue, when you're working all week long and feel like you're just barely making it through the week... sometimes you just need to rest. Whether in a flare or not, if the body doesn't get the rest it needs periodically, it will eventually make you give it rest. Besides, one would think (hope?) that if one gives the body enough rest when not in a flare perhaps the flare will wait or at least be less severe.

So, here's to rest, relaxation and the weekend reprieve. May you (we) all feel rejuvenated for Monday.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Winter Can't Last Forever

Before you read this I would like to say... please don't see this post (or any of my posts for that matter,) as simple ingratitude, whining or lack of wanting to do what I can. I am simply describing my feelings and doing my best to be honest. It's actually very therapeutic, so THANK YOU for letting me vent!  =)

This last weekend was pretty lame, as in, I was pretty lame. I filed our taxes on Saturday and then proceeded to clean out and organize the filing cabinet. I made it so far as spreading piles of paper all over the floor and then crashed. I barely made it to the bedroom to fall onto the bed. The remainder of the weekend was spent mainly in bed, sleeping and watching television. I had zero energy, hardly any strength and an incompetent brain. It was bad.

Fast forward to the work week... I feel like I could sleep for a literal week. I have a list of things to get done at work and a house that needs tending (not that Michael doesn't help me out, but it's not quite the same as me doing it and besides, it's "my job" as a loving wife) but I can hardly stay focused or muster the strength so only the absolute priorities get done. I suppose today was a good day at work, though I think the cutting, reaching, climbing and stapling was a bit much. About halfway through the day I started to crash. Thankfully I only had desk-work left to do so I spent the majority of the afternoon sitting down. By the time I made it home my whole body was aching. I almost cried when I remembered it was only Tuesday!

I keep hoping and praying that this is only a season, a bump in the road, a trial that will not last forever. Something's got to give, I have to make it out of this valley to the real world once again. I know God has promised a new life after this broken one, but frankly I hope I don't have to wait until then. We're not in Narnia and Winter can't last forever, right?