Searching

Inspiration

wanes
when winter drains

the soul.

The heart that once

was bright and bold

feels haggard

worn

and old.

Curled

away

from the cold

in the light of a fire

one may find

their true heart

once

again.

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I have been slacking lately.  Not writing or creating or even reveling.  No joy in small blessings, not even noticing the beauty all around.  My head feels cloudy and my heart is tired.  I hope to find some inspiration soon.  I wish to be a light rather than a shadow.

It's not that I don't have an idea what my problem is.  I know I just need to trust the Lord, to lay it all at His feet and leave it.  Much easier said than done.  I have started praying again, like today on my way home... just praying for my heart to open again.  Without joy I am nothing.  Without love we are hopeless.  Without God we are dust.  He must be my missing piece, I have tried everything else.

Thank God for grace.

Autumn Waning

Winter is coming fast upon us.  The Autumn chill is developing a wintry bite.  Driving home in the twilight is so disheartening.  I am still wishing for the West Coast to do away with daylight savings because when we change our clocks back that one hour our world all of a sudden turns dark.  It's like Winter comes overnight.  How glorious it is in the Spring, when we "gain" an hour of daylight... but is it worth the gloom that comes when we must give that hour back?

I used to swear that I loved the rain, no matter when, where or how cold it was.  The cool droplets brought my soul to life, gave inspiration to my mind and awoke my sleeping heart.  I did not feel safe in the sunlight, did not have the joy to bask in it.  Rain was my solace.  Since those troubled, unsure, growing up years, my heart has changed and grown.  No longer do I dread the light and happiness of others, no more do I pray for the rain.  I enjoy the Summer and basking in the warmth.  When the downpours arrive and darkness comes early, I find myself hoping for just one more day of warmth, just one last weekend of sun.  I cannot wait for Spring.